In the mood for love.. Part II

I am still in the mood for love.



Who should I blame now? Haha...

Since I am in this current state of mind or emotion or whatever it is that generates such feeling, let's revisit one of my personal favourite love movie which aptly titled "In the Mood for Love". (no co-incidence there) Have you watched this movie before? If your answer is NO, I strongly urge you to do so NOW.

Why I just can't get enough of this little gem? You just have to watch it to know why and you'll thank me later. hehe

Personally I love it because it is a beautifully shot movie. Every single scene in this movie is just like a gorgeous painting. So breathtakingly beautiful. While watching this movie, I dare you to pause at any given time and I guarantee you that you will witness a still, so beautiful, so serene and so mysterious at times.

I do not know how they do it but this movie manages to include so many little things in each and every scene and yet able to make it look so effortlessly done. Everything feels so natural.

Simple story, simple storytelling, superbly crafted. This is simplicity at its best.










Beautiful right?


Extremely and highly recommended.

In the mood for love...

Blame the month of February. I am in the mood for love. Are you?

Incomprehensive Arse

Here I am again. Staring at my laptop wanting to say something. So badly. But I honestly do not know how to start pouring whatever thoughts that are in my head on this virtual paper. Strange.

I have not been very productive lately. Much to my dismay. Sometimes it got me thinking whether I should just jump into cold water and deal with it. Being Gemini does not help much I guess because Gemini tends to over-think too much, all the time. Waaay too much. Most of the time, thinking too much only delay action and I need not preach on how action speaks louder than word or (thinking).*sigh*

It is frustrating to realize that your life is being put on hold and you can't move on. The worst thing is I only have myself to be blamed. This situation has taught me a lot of things. I have learn a lot about myself this past one month. Things that I thought I knew or things that I was so sure about before seems to take a 180 degree turns.

But I am glad. Glad to know that whatever it is/was that is happening to me is actually rooted from my own action and I should own up to it and take responsibility. As soon as I am aware of this fact, I feel slightly better about the whole thing. After all, this is so not then end of the world. They are a lot of other less unfortunate people in this world that are suffering the worst kind of tragedy one could imagine and for me, to complaint and to whine about a teeny tiny mishap that happened to me will only make me sound like an ungrateful, unmitigated and incomprehensive arse!

To all the (super)great people in my life, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for always there for me. Always. Maybe all of you listen to Bon Jovi waaay to much. hehehe. You know who you are. Without you people, I could probably be banging my head on the wall by now.(to the detriment of my "gorgeous" face of course.

Last but not least, fully aware that today is already 28th January, I would like to wish you, yes,you, the one who read this, a very happy new year. Let's reinvent ourselves this year and may 2010 be one freakin' great year for all of us :)

Dear Void

I do have an open mind..... but it is temporarily close for repairs.




I need an escape... a temporary break from reality.




I am waiting patiently...to unleash beast within.



I need a reminder. I need a constant reminder. This is my reminder.


"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void"










I need something... to fill the void.

NATRAH

I love theater. It is one of my favourite form of art that I really appreciate and value very much. I may not know a lot about it but I do know the amount of hard works involved in producing and presenting a good play. I love the idea that a group of people working closely together for months (or years) to perform 2 to 3 hours long play. All those sleepless night, all the research and character studies involved. It must have been emotionally and physically demanding. The audience then will be rewarded with a live performance. The raw energy in a live performance, I think is something so incredibly awesome to experience and it is exactly what I want to feel when I am watching a play.

However, it is rather unfortunate I must say that I did not really get to feel it when I was watching Natrah last night at Istana Budaya. Natrah is a play directed by none other than Erma Fatima, a power house name in the industry with Maya Karin in the lead role as Natrah a.k.a Uberdina Maria Hertogh.

Natrah is one of those name that is quite close and familiar to Malaysian and I do believe she needed no further introduction especially for some of us who read law. To some, the story of Natrah is a tragedy while others may look at her story as a landmark in a Malaysian history that not only sparks controversy legally but it involves serious question of faith and religion.

So based on this basic idea alone one can expect that this could be the premise of a really good story. It has all the potential. But, sadly, I am of the opinion that the play last night have failed to live up to the big potential it had. I am quite disappointed as I think the story of Natrah could "easily" be translated into a masterpiece. It has all the elements of a good story. Love, Sacrifice, Religions, Conflict, Tragedy etc but somehow the play lack something. It is as if, a chef have all the right ingredients to prepare for a grand feast but somehow the chef decided to order take-out instead. That is exactly what I feel after watching it.

The whole thing seems a bit rushed. It was as if they did not do a proper and thorough research on how to tell this story. As a result, the play is quite bland and quite straight forward. Not that this is wrong or bad but I was hoping that this play will tell us new things about the life of Natrah. Not merely regurgitating all the well known facts of her life.

Erma Fatima as the director just presented a story that majority of us already know. She offered no new perspective on the story, no new interpretation of what truly transpired behind all the conflicts that surrounded the legal battle between Natrah's biological parent and her foster mother and the life of Mansor Adabi after Natrah's was brought back to Holland. None of these were in the story. So, I was quite disappointed.

I think maybe the production team was in a hurry to produce this play because of the recent demise of Natrah a few months ago. Perhaps they wanted it to be shown to the public while people are still talking about it. This is probably why this whole thing seems a little bit rushed and slightly ill prepared.

One thing that I have to point out is that the use of the spirit of Islam among the Malays in this story. Yes, I know for a fact that the story of Natrah mainly is about conflict in religions between Islam and Christianity and I truly understand what Erma Fatima tried to do when she deal with this subject matter in the play. I applauded her for that as I am all into the sanctity of Islam. However, I wish she would have done it in a different way especially in the demonstration scene so as to give a better view on why Muslims in Malaysia at that time did what they did. This is crucial because she needed to explain why Natrah's faith was extremely important to her foster's mother. Nevertheless, on this note. I can see that in her direction, at least she tried to be impartial in this whole Islam-Christian conflict but I wish she would have dwell on it further.

Having said all these, to be fair this theater is not entirely bad. I was just a little bit disappointed that it was not what I had expected it would be. I was hoping to know about her life after she went back to Holland but this part was not shown.

The other good things is Sofea Jane. The opening monologue by Sofea Jane is quite good. Her monologue was clear and she presented it neatly. It is quite haunting to see her in a white dress surrounded by lots and lots of white flowers alone in the dark stage. She appeared only twice in the theater as the old Natrah. I particularly love her monologue at the end of the play where she asked the audience what her life means to all of us. She asked the audience, as Natrah, whether her demise was accompanied by our prayers and talqin or whether her demise is already long forgotten. It is a sad thing for Natrah to had to go through what she went through in her life and Sofea Jane in my humble opinion seems to deliver Natrah's heartache and confusion perfectly. , But, my only little complaint of this section is that why she had to have an Indonesian accent?? Is it just me who notice this?? Is anyone else out there felt the same way too about her accent?? hmmm...

Meanwhile, Maya Karin is suprisingly quite believable as a 13 years old Natrah. She play the character with such naivete and charm that you almost forget that she is pushing 30 in real life. Umie Aida as the foster mother is as usual, believable. But, I personally would have liked if a real life old actress is cast for this role instead of a young actor playing it. But since she is good at it, I have no further comment about it.

But, most of all, the best performance in my opinion was from Samantha Schubert who play Natrah's biological mother. She is so convincing and believable as the mother who believed that she was betrayed by a friend that she trusted and will do anything to get her child back.

As a whole, the play is okay for me. It was not bad. It was just not what I had expected or hoped it would be. That does not make it bad at all.

Apart from the story, speaking of the real life event of Natrah, I personally agreed that she should have been given back to her biological parents. Yes, as a Muslim it is unfortunate that she will no longer practice the religion but she was just 13 at that time and her parents have all the right to raise her as a Catholic. Just imagine if your Muslim daughter who had to be given away temporarily is suddenly raise as other than a Muslim? You would have done exactly what Natrah's parents did and would have feel what Natrah's parents had felt about the whole situation.

Missing

It's 5am in the morning and I can't sleep. I miss some things. A lot of things actually.

I miss going out for early breakfast with my dad. Eating roti canai at our favorite spot together. Reading newspaper together. Him with his Utusan and Berita Harian and me with my Star. Listening to him talkin about the current state of our government in his extremely thick mamak-penang "accent"....

Miss "debating" with him on whether we should watch the latest Tamil movie in cinemas or should we just subscribe to Astro Thangathirai to watch them....

Miss watching Rambo 1,2 ,3 and 4 together for the gazillion times and trying really really hard to mimick John Rambo's dialogue in a very crucial scene in Rambo 2 where Slyesvester Stallone, in his classic/signature "mulut senget" uttering the words, "Murdoch, Im coming to get you!!!"

I miss trying to convince my dad that WWF is NOT real and they were just a bunch of actors/stunt-man putting up a show. I miss the look he gave me, a look of disbelief every time I said that it was not real and how he will strongly argue that every punch, every kick and every fight in WWF are real.

I miss listening to the stories of him growing up in Melaka back in the old days. How he knows every single part of Bandar Melaka through his numerous exploration with his friends every day after school. Listening to how good of a footballer he was and how he celebrated his victory after each games with his best buddies.


I also miss my mum. Terribly..

I miss how she knows when something is not right with me and I miss how she would know if I was trying to hide something...

I miss how she will try to wake me up for Subuh prayer by tickling the sole of my feet and by telling me the same story again and again of how a man loses almost half of everything the world offered him because he did not perform his Subuh prayer. And I will pretend to continue sleeping until my dad had to intervene....

I miss how I have to always tell my mum that there will be no sequel to Winter Sonata and the hero in that tv series, Bae Yong Joon have no plan to marry Choi Ji Woo, the heroine. She will disses me off and asked me to stop meddling in her fantasy... I miss my mum, the hopeless romantic.


Most of all, I just miss talking to my her. Miss listening to her inconsistent view on my weights and her denial of my ever increasing tummy. Miss listening to her white lies comforting me that I am not fat but I was just a bit plump. But, I also miss how at certain time she will remind me that my face will looks like a kueh pau that is about to explode if I do not stop eating. hehehe.


I miss them. I need them. My heart and soul. My everything.

p/s: Can't wait to go back to Penang to meet them soon. Big hugs n kisses awaits you two

Instinct v Common Sense

This is a totally random post. I don't really have anything in particular to blog about and yet I find myself hitting the "new post" button and here I am. Today is 24th November 2009. 24 days after I officially end my pupillage. I am on my holiday or to be exact I am in this transition phase from a pupil to an advocate and solicitor.

I think by now some of you might have already knew that I was not retained in ADC. The fact which I have grown to accept rather easily I must say. I was really really down when I first learn about it though. I was only sad for one day to be honest. The day after that I was actually okay. This may be due to the fact that I was already informed that they are not taking any people in even before I started my pupillage and because of that, I was sort of prepared.

So, in this so called holiday or should I say the period of lazing around and doing nothing which I find myself getting significantly good at it, I was supposed to be actively pursuing for a job. Having said that, I must say that I have not been "actively" seeking for job. The so-called attempt that I made was not in any definition suit the phrase "actively seeking for a job". I was not aggressive and I, unfortunately procrastinate thing as usual.

I do have a few firms in mind but somehow my instinct or should I say the voices in my head that I have been fondly been listening to all these years has yet to give me any signal. I am in desperate need of some sort of signs. I need that voices in my head to lead me, give me clues and drop me some hints. Basically, i need the voices to tell me which are firm(s) I should send my application to.

I could be stubborn at times and this is one of the time my stubborn ness choose to show its face. I insisted to only listen to this instinct of mine and after some interrogation with the voice within, you know the bad cop/good cop tactic and all the other hooplas, instinct finally DROP major hint so based from the hint given, I send two applications at these small but reputable firms. I crossed my fingers, baca Bismillah and click the "send" button. Praying really hard that they will at least call me for an interview.

My instinct told me this may just be the perfect place for me and being the obedient listener that I am, I believed them. I figured since all this while they have pretty much led me to where I am now....which so far is a good and blessed life, I assumed that I have no reason to doubt them. They are trustworthy."They" here is of course referred to the voices in my head a.k.a my instinct.

Then, the "impossible" thing happens....

Almost two weeks have passed and I have yet to receive any reply from this two firms. I started to doubt my instinct. Something tells me this is not the first time.*sigh* Suddenly the voices in my head are not making any more sound. I began my frantic search all over my head. I even sent a Special Branch detectives (together with Starbucks and Donuts) and Special Weapon and Tactic S.W.A.T unit to find them. I force them to make a noise or at least to whisper something to me but to no avail. They won't budge and the silence is killing me and sudenly the future looks so bleak to me and without further ado, I approach my other friend, my other confidante who is, my common sense.

Here is a snippet of our conversation that day....

Common sense : Yes the Gorgeous Iskandar, why are you calling me? It's been a while since we last talk.

Iskandar: Oh, something is seriously buggin' me. Instinct stopped talking to me for no apparent reason. The last time I talk to Instinct, he suggested I applied to this two firms and now it has been two weeks and still no progress. Why huh?

Common sense: Ermmmm... (a long pause). Iskandar, when instinct gave you this "brilliant" suggestion of his, did it ever occurs to you that you should have at least check the Malaysian Bar website first to see if there is any firm out there that actually in need of new L.A? I believe this two firms that Instinct asked you to apply did not even advertise any vacancy. Am I right?

Iskandar: Errrr...I guess so. I just simply send my application to them and hope for the best. Tak boleh ker?

Common sense: You #$%&*@#$% foooool!!!! Of course la they didnt reply or even bother to reply when they are not even looking for people to join them in the first place!!! How can you be so ignorant and just listen to Instinct bla bla bla bla bla @#$%$#%&#@* bla bla bla bla @#$#@%&#*&#!!!!!!!!

Iskandar: Ouch! FINE!!!!!! I'd go check the Malaysian Bar website and see if there's anything.

So, after being told off by Common Sense, I send my application to this one particular firm in Damansara which actually did advertise for a vacancy. and true enough, they called me the day after for an interview

But then....

Gosh, I think I should have just listen to my instinct. Common Sense is not making much sense. When I reach the place for the interview, I could not bring myself to the office. I was stuck in my car for almost 40 minutes collecting reasons and strength to actually get the hell out of my car and just go for the interview.

It does not feel right and I had a strange feeling that I will not like it. What a negative thought!!! I tried to shooosh them away and I was so in need of some tough loving and some motivation so I called Bary and asked her to knock some senses right into my head so that I could just go for the interview. After a few minutes of rambling about my not so stable emotion, I then found the courage to get out of my car.(eleh..chill la, macam nak pegi perang jer, interview aje kot) Still, I didnt feel good about it.

Haish!!!!! I should have just listen to my instinct. I was right. I didnt like it. The firm was not bad though. It just that it does not suit me. I can tell. I so can tell okay. Suddenly, the voices that have disappeared a couple of days ago slowly creeping back to my head. Slowly and slowly it is getting louder and what at first was just like a blurring echoes of a phrase... starting to get clearer and clearer. The voices kept chanting this phrase as if it is some sort of powerful mantra and it's getting louder and louder. They chanted the phrase "I told you so", "I told you so". I feel so overwhelmed and started to feel as if I am now drowning in this "pool of noises" which by now starting to sound like it's mocking me. Not cool man. So not cool. In fact some of them did laugh at me. Kurang asam btol. When you are at the receiving end, this phrase can be so freaking annoying. Urgghh.

I need to have a serious conversation. Face to face. I called both Common Sense and Instinct for a serious meeting. After a lengthy discussion with both of them, we have decided to consult Mr Practicality. Mr. Practicality is also one of my dear friend that I have been in contact with for quite some time. When he make a visit, we tend to come out with quite a few good decision. He rarely makes an appearance nowadays though. Wonder why.

Anyway, Mr. Practicality suggested that I combine both Instinct and Common Sense ideas. Mix them up together, create a balance mixture of those two and see the result. Why should I abandon my inner voice and why should I discard Common Sense. Who said that I can't have both? Who said that it should be one or the other. Thus, I mixed them up together. I am now hopeful of what the result may be.

It has been 2 days already and I am still hopeful. Finger crossed. If tak jadi jugak, Mr.Practicality is in dire need of some serious whipping!