Dear Void

I do have an open mind..... but it is temporarily close for repairs.




I need an escape... a temporary break from reality.




I am waiting patiently...to unleash beast within.



I need a reminder. I need a constant reminder. This is my reminder.


"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void"










I need something... to fill the void.

NATRAH

I love theater. It is one of my favourite form of art that I really appreciate and value very much. I may not know a lot about it but I do know the amount of hard works involved in producing and presenting a good play. I love the idea that a group of people working closely together for months (or years) to perform 2 to 3 hours long play. All those sleepless night, all the research and character studies involved. It must have been emotionally and physically demanding. The audience then will be rewarded with a live performance. The raw energy in a live performance, I think is something so incredibly awesome to experience and it is exactly what I want to feel when I am watching a play.

However, it is rather unfortunate I must say that I did not really get to feel it when I was watching Natrah last night at Istana Budaya. Natrah is a play directed by none other than Erma Fatima, a power house name in the industry with Maya Karin in the lead role as Natrah a.k.a Uberdina Maria Hertogh.

Natrah is one of those name that is quite close and familiar to Malaysian and I do believe she needed no further introduction especially for some of us who read law. To some, the story of Natrah is a tragedy while others may look at her story as a landmark in a Malaysian history that not only sparks controversy legally but it involves serious question of faith and religion.

So based on this basic idea alone one can expect that this could be the premise of a really good story. It has all the potential. But, sadly, I am of the opinion that the play last night have failed to live up to the big potential it had. I am quite disappointed as I think the story of Natrah could "easily" be translated into a masterpiece. It has all the elements of a good story. Love, Sacrifice, Religions, Conflict, Tragedy etc but somehow the play lack something. It is as if, a chef have all the right ingredients to prepare for a grand feast but somehow the chef decided to order take-out instead. That is exactly what I feel after watching it.

The whole thing seems a bit rushed. It was as if they did not do a proper and thorough research on how to tell this story. As a result, the play is quite bland and quite straight forward. Not that this is wrong or bad but I was hoping that this play will tell us new things about the life of Natrah. Not merely regurgitating all the well known facts of her life.

Erma Fatima as the director just presented a story that majority of us already know. She offered no new perspective on the story, no new interpretation of what truly transpired behind all the conflicts that surrounded the legal battle between Natrah's biological parent and her foster mother and the life of Mansor Adabi after Natrah's was brought back to Holland. None of these were in the story. So, I was quite disappointed.

I think maybe the production team was in a hurry to produce this play because of the recent demise of Natrah a few months ago. Perhaps they wanted it to be shown to the public while people are still talking about it. This is probably why this whole thing seems a little bit rushed and slightly ill prepared.

One thing that I have to point out is that the use of the spirit of Islam among the Malays in this story. Yes, I know for a fact that the story of Natrah mainly is about conflict in religions between Islam and Christianity and I truly understand what Erma Fatima tried to do when she deal with this subject matter in the play. I applauded her for that as I am all into the sanctity of Islam. However, I wish she would have done it in a different way especially in the demonstration scene so as to give a better view on why Muslims in Malaysia at that time did what they did. This is crucial because she needed to explain why Natrah's faith was extremely important to her foster's mother. Nevertheless, on this note. I can see that in her direction, at least she tried to be impartial in this whole Islam-Christian conflict but I wish she would have dwell on it further.

Having said all these, to be fair this theater is not entirely bad. I was just a little bit disappointed that it was not what I had expected it would be. I was hoping to know about her life after she went back to Holland but this part was not shown.

The other good things is Sofea Jane. The opening monologue by Sofea Jane is quite good. Her monologue was clear and she presented it neatly. It is quite haunting to see her in a white dress surrounded by lots and lots of white flowers alone in the dark stage. She appeared only twice in the theater as the old Natrah. I particularly love her monologue at the end of the play where she asked the audience what her life means to all of us. She asked the audience, as Natrah, whether her demise was accompanied by our prayers and talqin or whether her demise is already long forgotten. It is a sad thing for Natrah to had to go through what she went through in her life and Sofea Jane in my humble opinion seems to deliver Natrah's heartache and confusion perfectly. , But, my only little complaint of this section is that why she had to have an Indonesian accent?? Is it just me who notice this?? Is anyone else out there felt the same way too about her accent?? hmmm...

Meanwhile, Maya Karin is suprisingly quite believable as a 13 years old Natrah. She play the character with such naivete and charm that you almost forget that she is pushing 30 in real life. Umie Aida as the foster mother is as usual, believable. But, I personally would have liked if a real life old actress is cast for this role instead of a young actor playing it. But since she is good at it, I have no further comment about it.

But, most of all, the best performance in my opinion was from Samantha Schubert who play Natrah's biological mother. She is so convincing and believable as the mother who believed that she was betrayed by a friend that she trusted and will do anything to get her child back.

As a whole, the play is okay for me. It was not bad. It was just not what I had expected or hoped it would be. That does not make it bad at all.

Apart from the story, speaking of the real life event of Natrah, I personally agreed that she should have been given back to her biological parents. Yes, as a Muslim it is unfortunate that she will no longer practice the religion but she was just 13 at that time and her parents have all the right to raise her as a Catholic. Just imagine if your Muslim daughter who had to be given away temporarily is suddenly raise as other than a Muslim? You would have done exactly what Natrah's parents did and would have feel what Natrah's parents had felt about the whole situation.

Missing

It's 5am in the morning and I can't sleep. I miss some things. A lot of things actually.

I miss going out for early breakfast with my dad. Eating roti canai at our favorite spot together. Reading newspaper together. Him with his Utusan and Berita Harian and me with my Star. Listening to him talkin about the current state of our government in his extremely thick mamak-penang "accent"....

Miss "debating" with him on whether we should watch the latest Tamil movie in cinemas or should we just subscribe to Astro Thangathirai to watch them....

Miss watching Rambo 1,2 ,3 and 4 together for the gazillion times and trying really really hard to mimick John Rambo's dialogue in a very crucial scene in Rambo 2 where Slyesvester Stallone, in his classic/signature "mulut senget" uttering the words, "Murdoch, Im coming to get you!!!"

I miss trying to convince my dad that WWF is NOT real and they were just a bunch of actors/stunt-man putting up a show. I miss the look he gave me, a look of disbelief every time I said that it was not real and how he will strongly argue that every punch, every kick and every fight in WWF are real.

I miss listening to the stories of him growing up in Melaka back in the old days. How he knows every single part of Bandar Melaka through his numerous exploration with his friends every day after school. Listening to how good of a footballer he was and how he celebrated his victory after each games with his best buddies.


I also miss my mum. Terribly..

I miss how she knows when something is not right with me and I miss how she would know if I was trying to hide something...

I miss how she will try to wake me up for Subuh prayer by tickling the sole of my feet and by telling me the same story again and again of how a man loses almost half of everything the world offered him because he did not perform his Subuh prayer. And I will pretend to continue sleeping until my dad had to intervene....

I miss how I have to always tell my mum that there will be no sequel to Winter Sonata and the hero in that tv series, Bae Yong Joon have no plan to marry Choi Ji Woo, the heroine. She will disses me off and asked me to stop meddling in her fantasy... I miss my mum, the hopeless romantic.


Most of all, I just miss talking to my her. Miss listening to her inconsistent view on my weights and her denial of my ever increasing tummy. Miss listening to her white lies comforting me that I am not fat but I was just a bit plump. But, I also miss how at certain time she will remind me that my face will looks like a kueh pau that is about to explode if I do not stop eating. hehehe.


I miss them. I need them. My heart and soul. My everything.

p/s: Can't wait to go back to Penang to meet them soon. Big hugs n kisses awaits you two